A Fan's Letter to Albert Haynesworth E-mail
Written by The Miz   
Wednesday, 16 June 2010 09:26

haynesworthbench
Image Courtesy of the Washington Post

Disclaimer: This letter includes some crude language and a lot of anger. I hope it makes you all feel as good as it did when I wrote it.

Dear Mr. Haynesworth,

Merriam-Webster defines a professional as a person “participating for gain or livelihood in and activity or field of endeavor often engaged in by amateurs.” They also offer “exhibiting a courteous, conscientious and generally businesslike manner in the workplace” and “characterized by or conforming to the technical or ethical standards of a profession” as alternate definitions. You technically fit the first definition, but based on the other two, you are no professional.

Each and every year, we Redskins fans are subjected to a free agent spending spree and the inevitable hopes that come along with a roster bolstered with new talent. We have seen the likes of Dana Stubblefield, Mark Carrier, Deion Sanders, Jesse Armstead, Jeremiah Trotter, and Adam Archuleta take the podium in March and declare their desire to win the Redskins a fourth Super Bowl championship behind the three that Joe Gibbs rightfully earned through hard work and dedication. We have seen these men, most of which unworthy of even POLISHING the trophies, follow up their grandiose press conferences by tripping off the proverbial stage because of the awkwardness of their oversized wallets. As infuriating as each of these names can be to the dedicated Redskins fan, yours is going to go down as the most frustrating and disappointing of them all.

Do you know why you’re a worthless piece of garbage, Albert?

…because you’ve been paid $31 million to play in TWELVE games for the Washington Redskins…

…because you’ve been paid $2,583,333 per game to huff and puff and blow your way to the sideline after every second down…

…and more than anything, it’s because you’re a liar and a loaf that has milked the maximum amount of money from an organization for the absolute minimum amount of effort. In the statement released yesterday, your agent stated that “the Redskins are trying to establish a new regime with new schemes at Redskins Park, and it is not an organization that Albert would have ever been attracted to just a short year ago -- regardless of the money.”

Bull.

First of all, if money was not an issue, why wouldn’t you have signed with the New York Giants? They were only one year removed from a Super Bowl victory and led by a proven winner and franchise quarterback? Why wouldn’t you have stayed in Tennessee with a playoff team and a coaching staff you knew well? You signed with the Redskins because you saw dollar signs and didn’t care if you had to play for the freaking Detroit Lions if you got paid that kind of money. 

You knew Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato were suckers and you used that to bleed as much money as possible out of them. Now you’re giving your teammates and the fans…the two groups of people that had nothing to do with the size of your paycheck a proverbial fat middle finger. What was that you said after signing the deal?

"You're not going to remember Albert Haynesworth as a bust," he said.

He was a regular Nostradamus with that one.
"With the contract, it's going to be all on me. My goal is to be the best player on the field and to eventually get to that Hall of Fame status and be mentioned with Reggie White and Bruce Smith and all the greats."
Oh so it’s all on you, huh…until the coaching staff gets fired, in which case you’re absolved from any wrongdoing or douchebaggery. In that case, feel free to piss and moan about how unfair it will be to eat up blockers and do some dirty work. You’d probably have to grab A-Rod money to do what you’re told in THAT kind of situation.
But what should we really expect? You were the guy that stomped on Andre Gurode’s helmet-less head (even if he is a Cowboy). You were the guy that paralyzed some dude because you were driving insanely fast on I-40 in Tennessee and wrecked his car. You were the guy that teammates considered to be selfish and lazy to the local media.
Don’t you dare compare yourself with Reggie White or Bruce Smith. Both of those guys worked their asses off to reach the levels that they reached. They were consummate pros and great teammates that helped lead their teams to Super Bowls. They put in the countless hours of work that it takes to be called a Hall of Famer. You don’t deserve to lick the dirt off their shoes. Your fat butt shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same breath as anyone but Terrell Owens right now…and at least he works hard in the offseason.

But I suppose none of this matters in the end. You can go back and jump on your 150-foot yacht (or however big it is), sip on expensive liquor from a diamond glass and laugh.

That in mind, here’s what I wish for you Mr. Haynesworth…

I hope Mike Shanahan acts like your agent never released any statements. Rather than trade you for a water cooler and some towels (which is all you’re good for on the market right now), I’d like to see you get fined until you bring your butt to camp. I hope Shanahan puts you out for every snap in the preseason until you pass out and then sits you on the bench for the duration of the season. When you start bitching in the locker room, I hope your teammates gang up on you and beat your ass. I hope you rot in relative anonymity with that contract and waste away the prime of your career.

More than anything I hope that Silvia Mena, the exotic dancer from New York that you impregnated, wins her lawsuit and takes all of your damn money. Then maybe you’ll finally get what’s coming to you.

In conclusion, eat shit Albert. You might be rich, but you aren’t worth a damn.



Digg! Reddit! Facebook! Technorati! StumbleUpon! BallHype: hype it up!
Trackback(0)
Comments (7)add comment

CGally said:

0
...
"Disclaimer: This letter includes some crude language..."

It was at this point that I clicked "Read more".
 
June 16, 2010
Votes: +0

The Miz said:

The Miz
...
I knew it would hook the TNZ crew with that tag. I need to get you your shirt. I suck at life.
 
June 16, 2010
Votes: +0

watchse replicas said:

0
replica watches
It truly is equipped with chronograph movement to guarantee the very precise timing. For men,Panerai replica watches
I suggest the very robust oversized cool designs which can completely match their interest in yacht and water activities.
 
July 30, 2010 | url
Votes: +0

ftgh said:

0
fdgh
That's NFL jerseys how he began, MLB Jerseys as if he were seeking NBA Jerseys some kind of NHL Jerseys approval Cheap Jordans from Jordan Shoes them. Explaining Air Jordan the distasteful nature of Jordans Shoes the drug trade as Air Jordans Shoes a kind of necessary Cheap Jordan Shoes evil. A means to Uggs On Sale an end. When he Ugg paused, Paul Uggs nodded, even Ugg Boots nervously smiled, bestowing Ugg Boots On Sale a kind of Air Jordans absolution on him. Cheap Jordans Perhaps that's all he Jordan Shoes wanted, Paul thought, someone to Wholesale Jordans take the message back to cheap nike the world.
 
August 14, 2010
Votes: +0

chanel handbags said:

0
chanel handbags

chanel handbags
chanel handbag
chanel bags
discount chanel bags
chanel

louis vuitton 2010
louis vuitton bags
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton

chanel cambon
chanel cambon bags
chanel cambon handbags
chanel cambon 31
chanel cambon handbags prices

chanel flap
chanel flap bags
chanel flap handbags

chanel 2.55
chanel 2.55 handbags
chanel 2.55 bags
chanel bags 2.55
chanel handbags 2.55

chanel handbags 2010
chanel 2010 handbags
chanel bags 2010
chanel 2010 bags
chanel bags 2010 sale

chanel wallet
chanel wallets
chanel continental wallet
discount chanel wallets

louis vuitton monogram
louis vuitton monogram canvas
louis vuitton damier ebene
louis vuitton damier
louis vuitton damier azur

louis vuitton shoulder tote
louis vuitton shoulder
louis vuitton tote

louis vuitton men messenger
louis vuitton messenger bag
louis vuitton messenger

louis vuitton travel
louis vuitton travel bags
louis vuitton luggage
louis vuitton womens wallets
louis vuitton womens wallet

louis vuitton mens wallets
louis vuitton mens wallet
louis vuitton classic wallets
 
August 29, 2010 | url
Votes: +0

pole dancing agencies said:

0
Pole Dancing Tip
There are lots of pole dancing agencies all over the world that need showgirls. So I just want to give all of you a pole dancing tip: Claim your pole. More and more gyms are offering pole dancing classes as a creative way to get fit. Call yours to see if they offer one. You can also find out if fitness center chains that are known to offer pole dancing classes are in your area.
 
September 04, 2010 | url
Votes: +1

Pole dancer jobs said:

0
Busama Groups
Loads of jobs to exotic dancers are in today. In topless bikini dancing remember this; step around. Keeping your outside leg straight, swing it out to the side and step all the way around the pole, pivoting on your inside foot at the same time. Allow your knee to bend slightly as you turn.
 
September 04, 2010 | url
Votes: +1

Write comment

security image
Write the displayed characters


busy
 

Follow Us

ballhypelogorss_64


About Bloguin

Bloguin is the revolutionary blog network specifically focused on helping bloggers get the most out of their websites. We're currently working on building a large network of online communities and hope to expand our blogging coverage to include a wide range of topics.

Advertisers

The Bloguin Network allows advertisers to promote their products and services to our ever-growing number of visitors. We offer both site-specific ad placements as well as the ability to run a network-wide campaign. If you're interested in working with Bloguin to meet your advertising needs, please contact us.

Bloggers Wanted

The Bloguin Network is always looking to expand. We're specifically looking for blogs in the sports, entertainment, and video games field, but are open to adding any type of quality site. If you're a blogger and interested in joining our network, please fill out our application form.

The Bloguin Login

The Bloguin Login gives you full access to everything our network has to offer. Your name and password will work for each and every one of our sites. Signing up is simple, and will allow you to post in all our forums, create member blogs, and access other cool features! What are you waiting for? Create an Account!