Disclaimer: none of these comments refer to my brother-in-law or his family. They're still a little obnoxious, but I don't need a Civil War on my hands.

Now we get to the fun part. Oh Lordy do we HATE Pittsburgh...I mean absolutely HATE. The average outsider might ask "why the heck does D.C. get so pissed off over Pittsburgh? They don't even have any teams in your divisions?" So what? There are thousands of reasons to hate Pittsburgh, from the winning, to the bragging, to the mullets and the "superior people from an inferior city" attitude. It all sucks. Let's do this thing.

Rivalry

This one is obvious, so let's look at the obscure first. The Redskins and Steelers play in different conferences. Historically, the Skins have fared great against the Steelers (41-32-3) even though Steelers fans somehow think otherwise. They used to have some spirited scrimmages during training camp (1 point). The Nats and Pirates play in the same league, and have played some decent (if you can call it that) series, but they both suck, so that takes away a bit of the fun (1 point).

When the average D.C. fan thinks of a Pittsburgh rivalry, they immediately point to the Penguins. The Caps have played Pittsburgh in eight playoff series since the 1991 season, winning only one (1994). The sting factor here is the fact that the Caps have led in all but one of those series and the Penguins always manage to come back and win. The in-season rivalry has grown quite a bit due to the emergence of Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby in recent years. The negative energy between these two teams after last year's Eastern Conference Semis is probably as high as the Cowboys and Redskins in the 1970s (2 points).

Success

Last year, Pittsburgh dubbed itself the "City of Champions." If that alone doesn't make you absolutely sick, you don't have a soul, or you're from Pittsburgh (or both). The Steelers hold the most Super Bowl titles in NFL history with six, while the Penguins have hoisted the Stanley Cup three times since 1991 (and most recently last season). All of this success has led to stupid slogans, t-shirts, license plates, and other paraphernalia displaying things like "Six-burgh." How can you not hate that? At least the Pirates are terrible (4 points).

Loyalty

If you are a Pittsburgh fan from Western Pennsylvania, you're fiercely loyal. I certainly cannot deny that Pittsburgh has arguably the most passionate and dedicated fans in the country. However, they get docked a point for the bandwagoners from the DMV that love to flaunt their success, even if they have no idea that Terry Bradshaw did anything before the NFL on FOX (1 point).

Knowledge

If they're actually from Pittsburgh, they're knowledgeable about their own teams. No denying it. Average SAT score? 300 (for filling in the name bubbles). (2 points)

Temperament

Now we can really get started. While fiercely loyal, Pittsburghers are among the most annoying people in the country, hands-down. They are an interesting blend of the biggest know-it-alls you'll ever meet and ignorant, mullet-sporting hill folk. Let me give you an example of their idiocy. During the 2009 preseason, the Redskins and Steelers played at FedEx Field. During the game, I posted this facebook status:

"I wonder if anyone's told Pittsburghers that 'Pitts' and 'six' don't rhyme."

Here was the first response on my wall from a Steeler fan:

"Well, apparently, nobody told you that in the dialect of American English spoken in southwestern Pennsylvania, and parts of northern West Virginia and southeastern Ohio, which is related to the older Appalachian dialects, which have, in turn, developed less than other US accents due to longer geosocial isolation, and are somewhat more related to … Read Moreolder Scots and Irish than either group is to modern American English as far as vocabulary and intonation, the phoneme groups “ts” and “ks” are often conflated, such that “Pittsburgh” would be pronounced similarly to “Pixburgh”; it is from this that “Sixburgh” became popular; in that dialect, they actually would be considered to rhyme. But if you wish to be culturally insensitive and politically incorrect, that is okay, too; I find that being either can often be a source of amusement."

So you're saying that people from Pittsburgh are less evolved than the rest of the country? Sounds about right.

Pittsburgh fans are an angry elitist group. Somehow, they come from a city amidst crippling depression, and yet D.C. is the worst town around. They somehow feel like they're above standard sports cut-downs that other fans make, yet love to talk about how Alex Ovechkin doesn't backcheck, Bruce Boudreau is fat, and Ted Leonsis is incompetent. I find the last one particularly funny considering that Mr. Leonsis has accumulated so much wealth that he could pay someone from the Steel City ten million bucks a year to wipe his ass.

Lastly, Pittsburghers move out of their hell-hole of a city to take over other towns. After leaving, they love to tell you how Pittsburgh is better than your city in every way. Ever wonder why you see Terrible Towels everywhere? Because no one wants to live in that trash-hole. Terrible Towel, Terrible Mullets, Terrible City (4 points).

Fan Travel

Read above. A fan base that largely leaves their own city due to its' stench has a much easier time taking over away stadiums and arenas (2 points).

Team Total: 17 points

How to Survive a Pittsburgh Encounter

Ask them how the Steel Industry is holding up the economy out there. If that doesn't work, mention anything about motorcycles or start talking about how Wayne Gretzky was truly the "Great One."

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Comments (10)

tdbowles said:

... This is a very good post. The part about Steelers fans who are bandwagoners is very true and makes them the most annoying. The problem with all of their bravado about taking over stadiums is exactly what you pointed out: there are a lot of Steelers fans who are not from Pittsburgh and some who have never even been there. They support the Steelers for the same reason that many people support the Cowboys. To dub yourself the city of champions is very annoying, but the worst part of the steel city argument is that if they were so loyal, how come the Penguins almost folded and moved? Lemieux had to save the team from becoming New Orleans Penguins or something like that. On top of that, as a long time season ticket holder for the 'Skins, you never saw that many Steeler fans anytime they played the 'SKins in D.C. before their recent SB victories. Like any "passionate" fanbase, most of the passion that others see comes when folks are winning. We are all passionate Redskins fans, but have nothing to show for our passion except frustration and sadness. When we win our next SB, people will talk about the same thing with us. great post! can't wait for the philly one.

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March 06, 2010 | url
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capsrus said:

hate 'em too, but... While I share the contempt for Pittsburgh fans, it is a little outdated to trash the city for the failure of the steel industry. I spent time there in the 70s - when it was a festering, dying, stinking hell hole shedding good paying jobs by the minute. But Pittsburgh's economy these days is much more reliant on medical, banking and education industries. Economically, the city is a success story (especially when compared to, say, Detroit, which lost its core industry and has never come close to recovering). Which only begs the question of why all those idiot Steeler and Penguin fans still leave the city and move here (or somewhere else). What's up with yinz guys?

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March 07, 2010
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Chuck U. Farley said:

... First of all, people who hate the Pens and their fans need to get their stories straight on the bankruptcy/relocation thing. The bankruptcy had nothing to do with fan support. The Penguins were very successful and popular in the '90s. Pittsburgh is still a small market, so it was difficult to support the salary the Pens were paying to Jagr, Francis, Lemieux, etc. Furthermore, the previous ownership got into some bad lease agreements on the arena and lost a lot of money. The bankruptcy was caused by incompetent ownership and excessive spending, not lack of fan support. As for relocation, that was never going to happen. Lemieux stated as much after the new-arena deal was secured. He threatened relocation as a negotiating tactic. Attendance was down in the seasons leading up to the lockout after the Pens traded Jagr, but that happens with any team that struggles. Also, many people felt the Pens were leaving and started giving up on the team. I'm not saying Pittsburgh fans aren't bandwagoners, but pretty much every fan base can be accused of that. Also, is it really necessary to disparage an entire region and its people? Pittsburgh has its problems, but its not the hellhole that you make it out to be. People have been leaving since the steel industry dried up (that happened in the '70s...move on...we have), but it's not because Pittsburgh is a depressing war zone. A lot of people come to Pittsburgh from the surrounding area to attend one of the many fine colleges and universities found in Pittsburgh. Then they leave to pursue their careers after 4-8 years of education depending on the type of degree they earned. Others leave because there are more jobs elsewhere. Many cities and regions that aren't third-world hellholes experience that kind of negative population growth. Pittsburgh certainly has its share of ignorant people, but so does every city/region on this planet. Calling us under-evolved subhumans is pointless. Under-evolved subhumanity is not unique to Pittsburgh. I mean, come on. You can call Pittsburgh fans obnoxious, arrogant, ignorant, etc., but you don't have to make sweeping generalizations about us that suggest we are like that in all aspects of life. For being so much better than us, DMV sports fans spend a lot of time obsessing about Pittsburgh sports fans. Don't get dragged down to our level by your envy of our sports teams' success. Just laugh at the Pirates, ignore the rest and continue being better than us.

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March 07, 2010 | url
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Chuck U. Farley said:

	... Capsrus, Thanks for being honest. Pittsburgh fans are obnoxious. I have a hard time standing most of my fellow Steelers and Pens fans myself. Still, you can hate Pittsburgh fans without grasping at straws to rip on the the city and the region on topics not remotely related to sports.
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March 07, 2010 | url
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The Miz said:

... Chuck, I appreciate the comments, and since you seem like a reasonable guy, I should address a few of your points. Before doing that, keep in mind that this is a D.C. Sports Blog, and you're probably going to be in the minority around here. The posts are geared towards D.C. fans, and you're not going to like what I say. Anyway, a couple of points: I understand the steel industry thing is played out (and I probably shouldn't have gone there). This whole thing is intended to poke fun and be a little exaggerated. I'm not stupid enough to think the entire region is poor or desolate, but it is peculiar that so many people choose to bolt W. PA if it's such a wonderful place to live and raise a family. I understand that regions that aren't hell holes experience negative population growth, but Pittsburgh is unique in the fact that the fans are especially mouthy about how wonderful their hometown is, even though it seems like such a large percentage choose to leave. You don't see such insufferable people from many other areas (save #1 and #2 on our list). Secondly, the fans make up a big part of why we DCers hate Pittsburgh. You hit the nail on the head when you say they're obnoxious (although you don't seem to be) and some of that comes from their demeanor. Some of that behavior is going to pull socioeconomic status into play in a post like this. Try not to take it personally. Thirdly, this idea that DC is obsessed with Pittsburgh is largely blown out of proportion. I can't stand the place, but it's not at the top of my hate list. There are other fans and cities that piss me off more. The fact that you stumbled upon this post the same week that Sidney Crosby broke the hearts of Americans everywhere is a pretty big coincidence. I typically don't harp on it. Lastly, the evolution thing was a joke. Calm down. It was a riff off of comments made to me by a Steelers fan and something that makes for a fun anecdote. If you think I truly believe that Pittsburghers are less evolved than the rest of the nation, you really need to quit taking this blog so seriously. Anyway, I appreciate the read and the comments, and I hope you can understand that this is meant to be taken with a grain of salt. You'll probably enjoy the post about your cross-state buddies in the next day or so anyway.

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March 07, 2010
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CapsWin said:

	Pittsburgh I have to agree that Pittsburgh is up there, right with Dallas, Philly and Baltimore. The fact that Crosby plays there ALONE is enough to hate them.
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March 08, 2010
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CGally said:

... Alright... (cracks knuckles)... Let's do this. First off, #3???? Are you sure about that? I'm guessing the others are the Cowboys and Eagles, but as a Pittsburgh fan living in DC, I can assure you the hatred is just as heated. Great post though. My only beef when people rip on fans is by calling them bandwagon fans. I know that it seems like there are bandwagoners because everyone lives in DC instead of Pittsburgh. But I haven't personally run into anyone that said "I started following the Steelers/Penguins when I was a kid because they were good" like you do with teams like the Cowboys and 49ers. Everyone I've met had at least some connection with the team, most likely that their parents grew up in the city. Besides, 50% of Caps fans think the season starts in mid-April. /end serious discussion Did you hear that Ovie never received his Hart Trophy last year? The award ceremony was held in the Caps defensive zone and he was no where to be found.

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March 11, 2010
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The Miz said:

	... ZING! Ok, I'll level with you on the bandwagon fan, but it did bump the 'burgh up the list. Dallas actually didn't make it because there's only one team that we really hate. While they'd be near (or at) the top for any singular team, they just don't cut it on this list.
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March 11, 2010
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CGally said:

	... Ah, I see what you mean about Dallas. David Stern is the only person that hates the Mavericks, and the only people to hate the Stars live in Buffalo, where God doesn't pay attention.
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March 12, 2010
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