Top Ten: Why I'm Pumped to Play Tennessee

Written by The Miz

Tuesday, 08 December 2009 18:12

I'm a few days late on this, but it was officially announced on Sunday that the Hokies will face off against the Tennessee Volunteers on New Years Eve in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. This matchup has been widely anticipated among the Hokie faithful due to the close proximity of the two schools (regional rivalry) and frustration with the arrogance of Rocky Top's fan base. Here are the top ten reasons why I'm excited for December 31st and this game.

10. I cannot wait to hear what kind of trash talk Lane Kiffin will throw out.

Will he talk about Coach Beamer's burn scars, or about how Tech can't hang with the SEC. Maybe he'll take some shots at Jim Weaver's Parkinson's disease or Greg Boone's weight. What we know is that this guy is all about stirring the pot, and anyone that rivals Al Freaking Davis on the psycho-meter has to make for some good pre-game idiocy. It's just a matter of who he targets and when.

9. This is one of the few opportunities to mock uniforms that are regularly uglier than our own.

Tennessee's highlighter orange has to be one of the most nauseating colors in all of college football. Take into consideration the fact that they don't really have any other colors to tone down the gaudiness (except black at times), and they're uniforms are even uglier than you've ever imagined. Burnt orange is real orange, and theirs is a joke. Either way, every Hokie fan should wear Maroon and help Tech dominate the Georgia Dome color scheme. If Tech comes out in those white catastrophes, all bets are off.

8. We can watch football instead of feeling terrible about what the hell has happened to Dick Clark since that stroke.

This one needs to extra explanation.

7. Bryan Stinespring shouldn't be able to screw this one up TOO badly.

Tennessee has a top ten passing defense and a weak-as-all-get-out run defense. As long as he rides the RMFW train, this one should be in hand. If he decides to play plinko with hitches and wide receiver screens, Eric Berry will own someone's life. Based on the last three games, maybe we can give him the benefit of the doubt...maybe.

6. Bud Foster can prove he's a better coach than Monte Kiffin.

Foster will eat your soul old man. Cody Grimm will help. Just sit back and take it.

5. Because in reality, Atlanta never gets old.

Who doesn't love crippling poverty, peaches, fried chicken and Lil' Jon? The Hokies get a chance at redemption for a second time in Georgia, so you know the old saying..."peace up, A-Town double down."

4. Maybe Vols fans can explain the whole "we're the Volunteers but our mascot is a doofy-looking dog" thing.

Again, as The North End Zone has wondered before, why the heck is your mascot a dog? Why not dress up as a bunch of sorrority sisters volunteering for Adopt-A-Highway? The radioactive orange would be make for a perfect safety vest/hard hat combo. At least our fake mascot could kick your ass.

3. We all get one last opportunity to watch Kam Chancellor light someone up, then give up a big pass.

...because in reality, we were cheated on this one when Jimmy Williams got his butt tossed out of the Gator Bowl, right?

2. Because Cody Grimm might "Volunteer" to perform ego replacement surgery when he knocks Montario Hardesty into next week.

I mean, what self respecting running back has a name like that? MMFH just doesn't have any ring to it, and the Deathbacker has to have the final word in his final collegiate game.

1. RMFW...

This really needs no explanation, but another opportunity to watch Ru own someone's life (and their jock) makes this game worth watching. Big school records are on the line as well.

Trackback(0)

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (3) add comment

the football girl said:

	... ...because in reality, we were cheated on this one when Jimmy Williams got his butt tossed out of the Gator Bowl, right? Hee hee. Jimmy Williams jokes never get old, do they?
	report abuse vote down vote up