• Our defense has been beaten up about big plays so far, and I don't anticipate Nebraska will have many, if at all today. But lit a fire under their butts this week. I also think we're still faster on defense and should matchup OK outside of the TE/LB pairing. Jake Johnson needs to have a big game, as does Cody Grimm.
• We're due to block a kick. Nebraska isn't scared about this, but I would be. We've been ripping off big returns on punts, so that means teams can't max protect if they want to cover well enough to prevent a big play. Less protection with this unit could spell disaster. Pick your poison Bo.
• Ryan Williams will continue to be dazzling. Suh may be the 2nd best tackle we see all year, but we won't run at him. Williams should have a big day if the receivers can maintain their blocks on the perimeter. Also look for some option out of the gun to keep the Huskers on their toes.
• We have a big advantage at tight end as well. Greg Boone is a proven commodity, and paired with Wheeler and Smith's experience, the Nebraska linebackers could be in for a tough day. If the line can wake up and pass block, look for a big day out of one of these three guys.
• Nebraska isn't giving our corners any love. If Stephan Virgil goes, he's going to make them pay for that. All the talk around their camp is about how Macho Harris torched them last year, but they don't know us well enough to realize how deep we always are at corner. Look for a strong showing from Carmichael if Virgil can't go. He'll be playing boundary corner regardless.
• Our crowd is pissed. We should see a frenzy, even for a 3:30 game. Procedure and delay of game penalties will write their ticket to a loss.
  

• Suh is a beast. If Nebraska can squash out the outside run and force the Hokies inside, Suh can handle the rest. We need to run early and often to get some confidence.
• The aforementioned pass blocking might kill us. Stiney has to run bootlegs and rollouts to protect Taylor. If he doesn't, we might see JuJu today. That = not good.
• Jake Johnson could get abused by the Nebraska tight ends. He had trouble against Marshall, and that could spell trouble.
• Nebraska's offense is capable of the big play, and if we go down by more than a touchdown, we aren't built to come back.

For the theme of September, I thought it would be fun to do a little riff off of my favorite show and put a DMV personality to characters in South Park. We’ll start with minor characters and build up to the main characters. I’ll give a description of each character, the personality (or personalities) and why they compare.

This one goes out to all the Virginia Tech students that have had to endure the tyrannical reign of Jim Weaver as the head of the athletic department. Our old arguments against ol' Weaver were his overall annoyance with any kickoff after 12 PM, and managing to arrange 15 year long contracts with programs like East Carolina. Fortunately, Weaver's scheduling ability has somewhat improved (although Furman and W. Kentucky were WEAK last season). Unfortunately, while not working out deals to play Alabama and Boise State, Weaver has sucked all the fun out of Blacksburg. This is where our comparison comes in:

Sheila Broflovski is a stay-at-home mother. As a result of hearing something shocking or inappropriate, she is often heard exclaiming "WHAT, WHAT, WHAT!?", saying each word in rapid succession and putting more emphasis on the last "what". Sheila has been depicted as being a huge fan of Barbra Streisand.

Like Sheila, Jim Weaver supposedly wants "the best" for athletic events in Blacksburg, and has done quite a bit towards in improving our status as a major competitor in multiple sports (i.e. new basketball facility, baseball facility, soccer stadium). However, his overprotective nature has carried over, and consequently pissed off a large percentage of Hokie Nation. Like Sheila, who forbids Kyle from going to heavy metal concerts and seeing naughty movies like Terrance and Phillip, Jim Weaver wants no part of any debauchery and merriment that could take place outside, or inside Lane Stadium on gamedays. He has all but banished tailgating from campus, told fans that they cannot throw footballs in the parking lots, and eliminated the fan-favorite "Stick It In" cadence. He even threatened the drumline with expulsion from the Marching Virginians if they played it. Luckily, he has his hands so far up Dave McKee's butt (who would be cast as Gerald, Sheila's husband, and is the "director" of the MVs), that McKee even threatened one of my good friends who is an MV and started a Facebook group protesting Weaver's tyranny.

But that's not all. Jim Weaver took the fight to our pregame entrance. He insisted that both teams run out of their respective tunnels together, as to prevent booing from the fans. BOOING. At a football game. Sounds kind of like how Sheila didn't want her son to play hockey even though he was born in Canada. The sportsmanship aspect is one thing. Don't go picking fights with opposing fans. Welcome them to Blacksburg, but when their team runs on the field, you boo and scream until your lungs hurt. Weaver also tried to do a "We Are Marshall/Penn State" deal after the 4-16 shootings, which I still find lame and not exciting. I like our "Let's Go Hokies" better any day of the week. But while Weaver is an overprotective, oversensitive sissy, he does seem to have the good of the athletic department at heart.*

*I would just like to acknowledge that I wrote an entire post about Jim Weaver and didn't flip out or make a Parkinsons joke. Guess he wouldn't want me to shake things up...ZING! So much for that.

Sorry for the delay on this, but a wedding and some friend commitments this weekend delayed my recaps. Skins will come tomorrow after work. Promise. I only got to watch the first half in real time (due to previously mentioned wedding), but I watched the replay online of the second half. Here are my quick thoughts on the domination.

• Tyrod is still a work in progress. He HAS to have the run game set him up, and Stiney finally realized that. Once T-Mobile got comfortable, his passes stopped floating behind his receivers and he got into a zone. He can be effective, but his arm is probably our third best option right now.
• Ryan Williams is a “north-south” runner. I swear the two old codgers on 360 didn’t say anything else for the first 25 minutes of the game. While I didn’t think this was necessarily true before Saturday, Ru proved me wrong. He broke tackles, showed a great head of steam, and wonderful vision. Even if he doesn’t prefer it, he looks REALLY good when he hits a hole and knows where he wants to go.
• David Wilson might be the fastest back I’ve seen at Tech. Now that’s only since ’95, but the kid’s got some wheels, and a little bit of lumber. He’s also hard to bring down, and damn can he fly. Two backs over 160 yards makes me feel really good…especially considering we’re still missing D.E.’s thunder this season. Look out 2010.
• Our linebackers are still learning but they will be good. I think we were all spoiled by the maturity of Vince Hall and Xavier Adibi when they came to Tech, but Jake Johnson and Barquell Rivers know how to get to the ball, and the pass coverage stuff will all come with time. They’re really good, raw talent.
• Our pass defense is going to struggle next week unless we get Stephan Virgil back next week. We had a few scares that could have been big plays Saturday. Luckily we made up for bad positioning with athleticism and speed.
• Our defensive tackles are no slouches. I love watching John Graves and Taco Thompson play, but Antoine Hopkins could be a VERY special player for the Hokies in the coming years.
• Blake DeChristopher is still a sieve in pass protection.

Stiney’s off the hook for calling a good game, and his athletes made him look like a genius. Nebraska is a better test (~50 overall defense in the nation) than Marshall, and won’t be run over easily. The athleticism of Ru and Wilson will come in handy on the corners against the Black Shirts, and Tyrod should have some luck in the passing game (especially finding his tight ends). Look for Sam Wheeler as a possible secret weapon next week. I’ll have a preview on Friday.

For the theme of September, I thought it would be fun to do a little riff off of my favorite show and put a DMV personality to characters in South Park. We’ll start with minor characters and build up to the main characters. I’ll give a description of each character, the personality (or personalities) and why they compare.

The Goth Kids in South Park have a distorted view of society, their own social status, and strive to be unique and different. However, in their efforts to be individuals, they in fact conform to a different stereotype, and end up looking awkward and lame. They carry an elitist attitude and don’t have very many friends. Sound familiar? It also describes a certain type of football fan: the Wahoo.

The Goth Kids frequently display double standards in their talks about conformity, and are often presented as ridiculous, though they are also occasionally portrayed in a sympathetic light. The Goth kids are easily provoked, and are very protective of their image. The Goth kids rarely attend classes and prefer to sit around all day listening to goth music, drinking coffee, and smoking.

Just like “The Goth Kids,” UVA fans buck the social norms of college fandom, rocking their bowties, blazers and sundresses. Things like cheering, drinking beer before games, and celebrating a touchdown with a fight song are too low-brow for the disciples of Thomas Jefferson. They have to look fancy, speak differently, and act in a “traditional southern manner” that are all better than the typical, heathen football fan. By trying to stand out as a unique fan base, they end up looking stupid and out of place. You might say they’re as out of place at a football game as a middle-class white kid that wears a black trench coat with eyeliner to match.

“The Good Old Song,” (which takes its melody from Auld Lang Syne), while traditional, does not pump one up, and certainly fits better with a New Years’ celebration than a touchdown celebration. Much like the angry, non-conformist music that “The Goth Kids” enjoy, it seems out of place. Finally, UVA fans like to draw their athletic elitism from interesting places. A typical UVA fan does not brag about football or basketball. Rather, they put up a wall of cockiness built upon their numerous lacrosse, soccer, and Chinese checkers national championships. Like UVA, The Goth Kids are particularly proud of odd things, like their clothing choices, musical preferences, and most of all, their strong dependence on coffee. Like UVA fans, they consider themselves to be unique and special, but in reality, no one wants to be anything like them.

I had to take that shot…just had to. Of course #2 is WVU, and #1 is Shepherd University. No fake. At least Shepherd wouldn’t have lost to Pitt in 2007. ZING! Low blow number two. But in all seriousness, this is the second week in a row that we’re playing a program with a rich history and national championships…1-AA National Championships…in the 90s. Marshall has an all-world wide receiver in Randy Moss…he’s gone? Ok, they have a great quarterback in Chad Pennington…he’s gone too? What? Byron Leftwich was there last time they were relevant. Is he gone too? Damn this is going to be a boring preview.

Alright…kidding aside, our Hokies enter Lane Stadium with bruised bodies and bloodied egos on Saturday afternoon. Alabama is the past. We have lock it up and move forward. Like the pain of USC 2004, Miami 2005, Georgia 2006, or LSU 2007, this game will continue to sting, but we must learn from it and move forward. Luckily we have a week to take a breath and beat up on the little guy. That’s just enough time to give Bryan Stinespring false confidence and then choke against Nebraska. Here are the keys to the game.

If the Thundering Turds expect to win, they must…

• Force turnovers early and often. The only chance they have is to make the Hokies play catch up early, which isn’t their strong suit.
• Learn how to defend the pass too. While Tyrod and Co. were close to abysmal statistically last weekend, they should be able to get the ball moving against a triple digit defensive backfield. At least a little bit.
• Pray to all that is holy that Merryman Center collapses before the Hokies enter the tunnel for Sandman. We are not UVA, and we haven’t lost to an opponent this bad in over 10 years.

If the Hokies expect to win, they must…

• Regain a little defensive confidence. Kam Chancellor must take this game to fix whatever calls he effed up in the Alabama game, because if he misses assignments against Miami, Jacory Harris will torch his ass. THIS is the game to fix the schematic problems.
• Run the damn ball. And by that I mean DOMINATE Marshall’s defensive front. They expect 8 or 9 in the box this week, but they still need to figure out a way to churn out consistent yards. I’d like to see ~200 yards to gain some confidence.
• Pass the damn ball. To the receivers…often. We have to prove that we can stretch the field for guys like Taylor and Williams to run the ball. Xavier Boyce needs to finally decide whether he wants to show up for his first collegiate game, because I certainly haven’t seen him yet.

It’s Marshall. I’m not going to break down all the stats, and even though they have a decent run defense, their defensive backfield is abysmal. They gave up 28 points to freaking Southern Illinois. They only scored 31. Ouch. If we can’t get it done against them…well…hello, Music City Bowl. There are no more excuses, and there should be no more throwing players under the bus. If the Hokies cannot move the ball on Saturday, it’s a serious play calling and preparation issue, which I put on the shoulders of the offensive coordinator. Expect Bud’s boys to come out fired up and get at least three turnovers (and at least two Worilds sacks). Don’t expect the offense to show, but don’t be shocked if they make a quick appearance.

Please God, let’s score some points.

Hokies 37
Turds 3

For the theme of September, I thought it would be fun to do a little riff off of my favorite show and put a DMV (all DC, Maryland, and Virginia) personality to characters in South Park. We’ll start with minor characters and build up to the main characters. I’ll give a description of each character, the personality (or personalities) and why they compare.

I thought after such a tough weekend, we could all use a good laugh at the expense of our good ol’ buddy from Charlottesville, Mr. Al Groh. Groh is left to pick up the pieces after watching his Cavaliers fall 26-14 to the William & Mary Tribe on Saturday. Like Mr. Kim, the sole proprietor of the City Wok in South Park, Groh doesn’t have many people buying what he’s selling.

City Wok Guy, is a stereotypical Chinese character, prone to mispronouncing the word "city" as "shitty", and pronouncing R's instead of L's. Kim’s main job is the owner of City Wok, a Chinese take out service. In "Child Abduction Is Not Funny", he is established to be an expert at building walls, a stereotypical parody of the Chinese building of the Great Wall of China, although his efforts are thwarted by a pack of Mongolians.

Like Kim, Groh’s efforts to build something successful and keep alumni and fans happy are thwarted by the likes of Western Michigan and Middle Tennessee, outsmarting and ultimately overpowering him. Even when he’s successful, Virginia Tech still outperforms him like PF Chang’s does to City Wok. Plus, he can’t even get the basic X’s and O’s down, much like Mr. Kim’s difficulty with the basics of the English language…it’s all foreign to him.

Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, 9/6/2009 1:53 AM, Atlanta, GA

Virginia Tech players enter their charter plane in a somber mood after a tough loss to Alabama. Offensive Coordinator Bryan Stinespring slinks into his seat next to Running Backs Coach Billy Hite in the second row as others pass. The players find their seats, leaving the coaches alone.

Bryan Stinespring: Man that was a tough loss. We really almost had them there. What do you think went wrong Billy?

Billy Hite: Dagoneman I thank it mighta bin yer playcallin I do.

BS: What? How can that be? We racked up over 150 yards of offense!

Hite: Whoona hell thanks thass good? Thas nawt eevun great fura haff.

BS: Well how much did those Tide miscreants manage on offense for the game?

Hite: I reckon it wer bout fahve hunderrd er so. You might oughta do sumpim bout...(trails off, something about NRV superbowl)

BS: What are you talking about? No way. Bud wouldn’t have let that happen. Never in a million years. And we only got 150? Gosh I hope he’s not sore with me…

Plane door is kicked open…Bud Foster storms in.

Foster: SOMEBODY’S GONNA DIE TONIGHT!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, STINESHIT?!

BS: Over here sir. (Raises hand meekly)

Foster: You wanna tell me what the hell happened back there? Seems to me my boys were on the field ALL DAMN NIGHT!

BS: Well we had a little trouble maintaining possession sir. We had a bunch of three-and-outs…

Foster: …well how the hell does that happen? Maybe if you ran some misdirection or some routes that WENT BEYOND THE DAMN FIRST DOWN MARKER WE WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM!!!!!!

BS: Well I have an obligation to give up the run early in big games. That Terrance Cody kid was going to eat Ryan Williams for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He already took a chunk out of Beau Warren’s arm (points over his shoulder). They were getting punished out there.

Foster: Punished? PUNISHED?! You wanna see punishment? GET OVER HERE GOLDILOCKS!!!!!!!!

Starting Linebacker Jake Johnson Enters

JJ: YES SIR! YOU CALLED ME UP SIR?!

Foster: (calmly) Johnson. What happened on that screen pass to Ingram in the fourth quarter? How did he get past you?

JJ: I BIT ON THE RUN SIR! I WAS CAUGHT INSIDE!

Foster: Exactly right soldier. Do you know how I punish players that get caught inside on touchdowns?

JJ: NO SIR! NO IDEA SIR!

Foster: Well we’re gonna show Coach Stinespring how well we tolerate missed assignments…

Foster: RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (rips off Johnsons head, lifts it up by long blonde hair, drinks blood)

BS: (pees pants)

Foster: You see how we tolerate losers on defense? You’re lucky you have those pictures of Frank on that cruise, or you'd already be out of a job. You’re unlucky that you have nothing on me, and I'll do more than fire you.

BS: But I couldn’t help it! I think that Hightower kid’s a wizard! He turned Blake into stone tonight! Look!

Trainer Mike Goforth walks by wheeling a statue of right tackle Blake DeChristopher on a dolly

Foster: Good Lord…I’m so sick of your excuses. That’s absurd. Maybe if you’d call better game once in a while that kind of shit wouldn’t happen! You’re never gonna learn unless you get punished. FOSTER’S…AUSTRALIAN FOR FEAR BABY!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

BS: Oh God, oh God, oh God. I PROMISE we’ll be better next week. It’s Marshall, so we should get at least 200…

Foster: 200. 200 YARDS?! If you don’t put up AT LEAST 400 on those Thundering Turds, I’m mounting your ass on my wall. Literally. Next to Ronyell Whitaker’s. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

I don’t think any of us can act super surprised this morning. Tech mixed a combination of pressure defense and a few special teams sparks to carry a 17-16 lead into the fourth quarter…and blew it. Our offensive line, which was supposed to be vastly improved…well…wasn’t. Ryan Williams was dynamic but made redshirt freshman mistakes at the same time. Bryan Stinespring couldn’t diagram a play to get his receivers some separation to save his life. The game was completely status quo. That being said, Alabama is a hell of a team, and it’s hard to feel terrible after hanging with a team like that for 3 ½ quarters (especially with little to no offense). Hats off to ‘Bama and Saban, and I hope they smack the hell out of Florida in the SEC Championship game. Here are some specific thoughts on last night:

• Jake Johnson had a very hot and cold game. He was very strong and an effective tackler at points, and confused and out of position at others. It seemed obvious to me that Johnson had never started a game in his career.
• Kam Chancellor let me down (a la my preview). He may have all the size and athleticism in the world, but until he can package that with consistency and heady play, he’s not going anywhere. He’s starting to remind me more and more of Aaron Rouse. I would say he had a hand in about 200 of Alabama’s (close to) 500 yards of offense.
• We have to tackle before we look for the big play. We had at least 20 missed tackles due to players going for the strip before trying to bring a player down. That being said, Cody Grimm has a free pass from now on to always try and force a turnover, because he’s damn good at it.
• ESPN commentary said nothing about the why Greg Nosal was in the game. That irks me. Nosal looked OK at points, and certainly better than Blake DeChristopher did in the last 10 minutes.
• Speaking of our starting right tackle, he won’t keep his spot long if he keeps looking like a statue when he “pass blocks.” ESPN caught him at least three times misreading blitzes and getting caught looking at guys just running by him.
• Our defensive line is damn good, and just had trouble when the linebackers broke down in the 4^th. Alabama got their yards when they got to the second level (which led to mistackles), but there were a lot of times that they didn’t have that chance to do that. Thanks to big John Graves, Cordarrow Thompson, and Antoine Hopkins. All three had great games.
• Tyrod didn’t look that bad. He didn’t rack stats up on the box score, but he didn’t make any dumb plays and took what the defense gave him (which was little to nothing). Stiney and the receivers take the blame in this one. Receivers for not getting separation in the secondary and Stiney for diagramming plays that a fourth grader can figure out pre-snap.
• Losing Greg Boone for the second half really didn’t help our offense at all.

Overall, Frank Beamer was right. We aren’t to Alabama’s level yet, and we need to pass block and not make stupid plays on special teams. Alabama has some of the most elite athletes in the country, and that won things for them in the 4^th quarter. If the Hokies want to stay in the national picture and win the ACC, they must learn from this game, and quickly, Marshall will be a welcome tune-up before Nebraska and Miami. Hopefully they can get things together before then. Here’s to finishing 13-1! Go Hokies.